Laid So Low

I like to stay home now.


I don't get bored like I used to. It feels so mature.


Every morning, I wake up with a pain in my spine. This is the reason.


Sadly, dogs are not allowed on the bed.


My ass likes to be in the middle.


I like to open the shades on our bedroom windows, and show off how naked we are in the afternoon.


Finally, I've given up the tanning salon. I'm 26. It's time to start caring about my skin.


I don't want to look like a leather bag at 40.


Bambu needs his butt picked. He gets mini-dingle berries trapped underneath his tail.


Dave is sharing the art of Richard Prince with Kitty.


The yard is growing back since it was destroyed by the fire hydrant accident last month.


Kitty gets jealous of Bambu's outdoor privileges.


My Frenchie is over 30 pounds now. He is fucking huge for his breed.


I don't believe everyone when they say they are "so busy." Busy with what? What does that mean? Busy is a word to describe an ugly pattern on a sweater. I don't enjoy busy and it doesn't fulfill me.