Ashley Blue: December 2007

Human Grade

When I get home from a long, tiresome day of doing porno, I just want to throw my smelly clothes all over the floor.

Bambu asks me, "What is that stench? It's all over you and it smells like something I've had at the dogpark."

I'm covered in balls, silly! And ass sweat.

Dave and I went to see an exhibit at the OCMA. I didn't even know Orange County had an art museum and we loved it. They have this rad Charles Ray piece in their permanent collection.

Blood looks so good because it's like living paint.

It looks pretty damn good on Dave too. He's always apt to perv-out on it.

Try to find a good vegan cup of coffee sometime. It's not as easy as one might think. I've always HATED the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf for their imitation powder mixes and watered down brews...

But now I have this image of nastiness burned into my memory. This is how they treat soy. It's more like untreated sewage.

Instead of getting angry at life's many disappointments and grossness, Dave has taught me to just take a picture and laugh at it.

Speaking of disappointment, we just got home from seeing a really lackluster Social D. concert.

Little Triggers

Kitty turns Christmas into her own, two-day bagfest.

Another reason to turn her back on us.

She does what SHE wants. No one else matters.

But that's okay because it's pretty close to her birthday. She's going to be four years old!

Bambu turned one on December 24th.

The "choking hazard" sticker wouldn't come off of this gift for my cousin's little child. It's sort of embarrassing, but whatever. Kids can't read anyway.

Wrapping paper belongs to Kitty also.

And boxes. Everything. It's all for her.

Some of my bible-thumpin' relatives live at this address. Isn't that the most adorable irony?

Me, Aunt Vicki and my cousin Sarah. A lovely noel.

Rose Bowl

The toilet got a little bloody tonight.

We like to photograph our own filth.

For me, it's art.

Bambu considers this a treat.

Dave showers affection on me daily.

It clings to every fiber of my body.

This winter is not so bad.

In fact, it's great!

Punjab Glory

My new favorite restaurant is Paru's Vegetarian Indian Cuisine on Sunset and Normandie.

Frogman

This is the face that smells like a damp shoe.

"Such a funny subject..."

I had a long pee at the Laker game.

It's cool to hold it in as much as possible at sporting events.

The Staples Center has an A plus in cleanliness.

Dave eats a butter-dipped cinnimon Wetzel's turd.

Whoever designed this dessert has as much fascination with feces as I do.

Dave took a picture of me farting on people in the crowd.

Go Lakers!

Chocolate Extract

Dave and I got our photo taken with Julius Shulman when we went to his book signing. It was quite an honor to meet him.

When berries cost ten dollars per package, they shouldn't be covered with mold in the store.

We ended up taking these berries back and getting a refund. Ralph's has a very friendly
return policy for the rotten produce they sell.

Baking is in this season.

My attempt at making the perfect vegan cupcakes fell short, or sunk in rather.

I whipped the non-dairy vanilla butter cream frosting all over my face.

Always remember to turn off the mixer before lifting it to your mouth.

Thanks to my insanely awesome cookbook...

The Best Red Velvet Cupcakes Ever!

Dave broke a golden rule and ate at 1:00 a.m.

They are so light that you must eat two to really experience the maximum bliss.

I'm going to go to bed, close my eyes and see nothing but RED VELVET.

Making these reminds me of another lady's great blog.

Opium Den

Coop shot me in his downstairs drug lair.

Actually, there were no drugs involved.

I like these pictures.

It seems like there could have been some nagchampa burning.

I'm stretching out my quads.

My new vegan diet has made me feel more muscular. Fuck protein and all of that propaganda about needing a carnivorous appetite in order to be strong. That's what the meat and dairy industries want us to believe!

It's fine. I know I'm making a difference anyway.

Usually, I don't interact with skulls.

We don't have much chemistry.

They are totally Coop though.

I can find peace with or without them.

Sit Still

Victor came over and shot our family photo tonight.

Wrangling two different species of pets isn't an easy task.

Kitty sliced my neck with her bitchy claws.

This shoot was more difficult than organizing a gang-bang.

It was all worth it though. We will have a beautiful holiday greeting card.

First Time

Tonight we took some ambien and started some sex.

I wanted Dave to begin re-training my asshole. It's far too tight now. I want it to gape again.

There was a very elegant perfume in Dave's ass.

Don't Believe In Lube. Believe In Yourself.

Then we did something that both of us had never tried. Davey fucked my ass and pissed up inside.

I pushed out the warm piss and it was AWESOME! Stuff like this keeps me from getting jaded.

I'm against the idea of chopping down a pine tree for Christmas. I've found a much more ecological substitution.

I've strung up pearly and silvery strands of my own spit to decorate Davey's Christmas Cock.

I think I know what perfume he'll get me this year. Pleasures of the Butthole.

Someday, I will have a baby.

Maybe I will look like this.

Until then, I'll just keep shoving the cat into my shirt. It feels really good to have her soft fur against my skin.

She's such a brat, but I love her more life itself.

Our feet gravitate toward one another at night. The cold weather makes sure we cuddle all of our body parts.

Halloweenhead

Kitty amuses herself with my hair ties for hours.

I'm too lazy to actually get up to play with her, so she's become good at the game of fetch.

Tonight's Specials Are: Dave's Spiced Armpits and Aged Two-Day Old Cum

There are so many pictures of me with my mouth open like this. I talk too much.

Dave makes noises like a pet photographer to get me to shut-up and smile.

Sex doesn't always produce 'Big Sexy Hair.' What is this, a mullet?

I have to fix this.

The grease is much better combed in than washed out.

Every night I hallucinate that all of my hair is turning gray. I found one right after my birthday this year. It's only a matter of time for the rest of them to start infiltrating my skull.

The men of the house take a power nap before an outing.

Gene Persimmons Bread

Kitty breaks in our new chair.

Balaclava

We've been doing some art projects.

Otto was attached to this one.

His house is great for telling a story.

I try not to be so bossy all the time, but it just comes naturally.

I love having creative control.

Let The Piss Run Down

Otto says to Audrey, "Get in here and mop it up."
Audrey replies laughing, "You pig."

Dave and I stopped by the Ari Marcopoulos show.

We really liked the way he framed his work in this. Some of the prints are set in white wood frames. It looked pretty slick.

Dave says that having a cat is like housing a wild animal. He's right. She cannot be trained and does whatever the fuck she wants.

We had great sex this afternoon.

Dave shot his load right over my head and onto the lamp shade.

I'm lucky it didn't take my eye out.

I'm lucky for a lot of things.

Good Good Things

Dave had top billing on Thursday night. Thank you so much to everyone that came and helped make it so wonderful.

The signing was turned out to be such a lovely event!

Damon and Claire performed Book Soup's first ever bondage show.

I sure learned a lot from the demonstration. Something about being in a book store makes me want to gain knowledge.

Coop took some great pictures of Claire.

Lillian said the book party was like a mini-wedding for Dave and me.

Me, Gia Jordan, Dave, Flower and Dana DeArmond.

A fan of the Girlvert series brought me a copy of the latest to sign.

I had to take a photo of this window. I love it that Dave's picture is up, even though he's not into the attention. I AM!

I love to take pictures of us right before bed. This is when I'm the most sentimental.

I get very lovey.

There's something clean about drooling all over a dick, after I've just washed my face.

All of the bodily fluid which flows is purifying.

I blow the remains out on my panties.

Dave has begun a series of shots like this. She's on top of me every morning.

This little thing is always hamming it up.

She is our little diva.

Kitty loves the bags.

Book Party! Thursday Night

Dave's fifth and latest photography book has come out and we're having a party at
Book Soup (the best bookstore in Los Angeles).
Models who are in it will be signing copies. Some of the girls will also be getting tied up in rope for a live show.
Starring:

Me and Nadia Styles

Eric Kroll, who wrote the introduction.

Basturds

Asian green tea makes me really sprung.

I loved feeling like the Great Cornholio, but I did not enjoy this restaurant.

Sadly, I've grown out of pho. It used to be my favorite meal after a two-day coke bender.

Coop took some lovely photos when Davey and I came over.

The Documentary

The Artistic Nude

I like being "the artistic nude."

It's a cool role.

Painters have great natural composition.

Rudderless

Dave and I went to see The Lemonheads at the Troubador last night. Rudderless was the last song of the encore. That's my favorite.

We went to dinner with Karl Alvarez and Bill Stevenson before they played the show. I was so honored. Besides being great friends of Dave, The Descendents are one of the best bands ever!